TIN FOIL HAT TIME?

"Don't Say You Weren't Warned."

I decided it was time for a “serious” post.

Remember this movie?

How about this guy?

I can’t place him, I think he spoke to Congress one time, so I guess he must be the “serious” type. His use of multiple hi-tech comm devices secures that.

Anyway, it clearly is time we followed his and others lead and adopted some safety measures ourselves.

Clearly, I am talking about this:

The “TIN FOIL” hat. Now I was amazed by the variety and volume of such hats availability on the internet. And affordable too!

Look for Joe Xiden to rapidly outlaw such wear.

So first, I’d advise not getting one emblazoned with “TIN FOIL” across the front.

Second, since you legitimately have to be concerned about VISA, Mastercard, WELLS FARGO, or any other financial institution tracking your purchase, make it yourself.

But first, hurry down to your local WalMart, Food Lion, Dollar Twenty Five General, or wherever, and buy some “tin foil” preferably with cash! I don’t have to tell you why “cash” do I? Sunglasses, maybe some cotton stuffed into your cheeks, facial hair, are all good disguises and be sure to park around the corner, or even at the nearby Jiffy Lube, so they don’t get your plate number. And make sure you don’t key in your “shopper number, phone number, extra-care card, or whatever purchasing tracker app they use, even if it means forgoing the 2% discount. And leave your cell phone in the car. SCRATCH THAT, leave it at home, on the charger, just like you never left.

And if your car has any one of those whiz bang trackers in it, maybe borrow the neighborhood kid’s bicycle, or dirt bike if it is a far ride.

Then there are many websites that will instruct you on how to make your own.

You may elect for even more coverage than the standard “ball cap” provides.

This is not a bad idea. And you can even line your N95 mask for more complete coverage, at the risk of a lower oxygen concentration. Oxygen sensors are available on the cheap now, no longer limited to those with reams of disposable income, so proceed as you best think.

I have, personally, decided to take it a bit further.

First, I like the idea of full coverage, 750,000+ miles on a variety of motorcycles will do that to you.

So I looked at my options.

This one really jumped out at me, and it was only $265 or something like that.

Then I remembered I had several old motorcycle helmets that I hadn’t used in years, since the orthopedic surgeon took me off motorcycles, well actually, it wasn’t Dr. Collins, it was bone disease and about a year in a wheelchair occasionally that actually convinced me. So a trip back to the closet revealed this.

My old Simpson “SuperBandit” helmet. I even have the cool tinted and “rainbow” visors for it.

Yep, those were the days!

Somebody once told me that I looked like “The Stig” before I even knew who “The Stig” was.

I don’t know much about “The Stig” but I am willing to bet he is ahead of the curve and has already lined his helmet with tin foil.